|Articles|October 9, 2000

Marriages: Stronger than ever

Despite dramatic challenges to the institution, most doctors couldn't be happier in their relationships.

 

Getting Personal

Marriages: Stronger than ever

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Choose article section... Doctors place more value on time together and talking What puts the bliss into wedded bliss? Physician divorces are familiar stories Happiness varies by specialty and practice setting Hanging in there makes all the difference How doctors rate their marriagesToday's physicians are more satisfied with their marriagesWho seeks marriage counseling? Marriage is rockier for women doctors, but getting smoother

Despite dramatic challenges to the institution, most doctors couldn't be happier in their relationships.

By Robert Lowes,
Midwest Editor

Physician marriages have been the stuff of soap operas, featuring workaholic healers, neglected spouses, and late-night squabbles.

It's time to rewrite the script, however. Doctors in wedlock are smiling more in the year 2000. A majority of physicians (54 percent) say their marriages are terrific, according to our lifestyle survey. Only 7 percent rate their marriages "so-so" or lousy. Back in 1979, when we asked a similar question, only 43 percent of doctors checked the "terrific" box, while 13 percent were discontented.

"These numbers are astonishing," says psychiatrist Roy Menninger, chairman of the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, KS, and coauthor of Medical Marriages. "You hear so many complaints from physicians that it's hard to believe anything is improving."

Granted, our respondents may have overrated their marriages—that's human nature. And if spouses had been questioned, their responses might be quite different. Still, some who counsel physician couples say the overall satisfaction level we report reflects changes they see in their clinical experience. Doctors, particularly men, are breaking away from the old "career-before-home" lifestyle.

"It's not enough for men just to be good providers anymore," says Wayne Sotile, a clinical psychologist in Winston-Salem, NC, and coauthor of The Medical Marriage. "The definition of a successful family man has changed."

For most Americans, marriage just doesn't inspire the same hopes it once did. But for most physicians who wear a wedding ring, life is surprisingly good.

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